Georgetterox

Once my baby asked me, what would happen to me if only we weren’t together again.

And I just answered him, I will pretend that you’re dead.

Now my time has come to really pretend about his dead, but I never thought it would be so difficult to do.

Once I forbade myself to be a Mrs. Soldier, just coz I didn’t wanna wash my husband’s uniforms which fabrics were very tight and thick.

They’re hardly drained, so if it’s not really drained well, my husband’s wear will stink.

But I never said that to my baby. His dad was a soldier, so I never criticized the smell of his dad’s outfit.

When I work in a military hospital, I also never told my soldier boss that my boss doesn’t smell good like a doctor generally.

But when this Christmas my baby tells me that he’s leaving for compulsory military service  this winter, I can’t resist myself not to let him go.

It ain’t just coz I’m afraid that he’ll stink, but also coz I’m so miserably that he’ll be gone, probably forever.

And these very silly sentimental days just drive me to sing the hell of Avril Lavigne.

I always needed time on my own,

That’s the selfish of me. No wonder we broke up.

I never thought I’d need you there when I cry,

Why can I just already aware of losing you when the rest I can do is just weeping?

And the days feel like years when I’m alone,

I’m so scared this farewell will torture me and I won’t recover anymore.

And the bed where you lie is made up on your side.

Coz you’ll never come to cuddle me again though there’s always extra space for you in my bed.

I’ve never felt this way before,

Never thought that I’d love someone this way like the way I love you.

Everything that I do reminds me of you,

Coz you’re there and I’d watch myself to laugh, to lie, to get mad, to be happy, and to get lust.

And the clothes you left they lie on my floor,

Coz my cardigan that you snatched as we made love still remains there, I never throw them away.

And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do.
Coz I want your smell remains there, permanently.

When you walk away, I count the steps that you take

Your footsteps when you walked away still remains there, they’re still warm, still feels ache.

Do you see how much I need you right now?

And I wanna see you turnaround to answer everything, why? Why? WHY?!

We were made for each other out here forever

Does the fate really exist? Coz God seems separating us now.

I know we were

But hasn’t He been telling me not to lose my hope?

All I ever wanted was for you to know

I really wish that you’re smart enough to get this blog.

Everything I do I give my heart and soul

That nobody elses’s name that I mention at the end of my pray beside your name.

I can hardly breathe, I need to feel you here with me

And if I don’t cry now, I can go apnea. Will you resuscitate me?

When you’re gone, the pieces of my heart are missing you

You’ll be gone, and my heart fells apart of letting you go

When you’re gone, the face I came to know is missing too

You’ll be gone, and I feel you’ll never be back again

When you’re gone, all the words I need to hear to always get me through the day

And now I have to live my own and stop blessing you
And make it OK

So would you promise me now that you’ll always be allright? Coz..

I miss you

… I’ll be so much missing you, baby..

Them, those gynecologists, said, that the gurlz’ machines stop procreation at 40.

They, those gurlz, not those gynecologists, will have menopause, and right after that, they’ll be sterile forever.

But I never believe that.

You’ll never believe it especially if you were born by a child who born by a forty-something lady who had born seven babies and still had more.

I’m in my ER as a 44-year-old lady comes to me that she’s found a tissue reveal of her vagina, coz a severe bleeding. She’s been bleeding since a month ago, and it’s getting harder today.

By the way, she’s lost her menstruation since a year ago, and it’s been no contraceptives to use.

She thought that she’s had menopause.

But I think that menopause won’t reveal a tissue from the vagina.

The only thing terrifying that most possibly could explain the tissue was.. a fetus.

I check her blood then I phone my boss to report the case. I tell him that the patient’s really weak, she gets severe hypertension, and the lab shows that she doesn’t lose too much blood actually, but it shows that she’s infected enough.

Maybe my boss would do USG to see the viability of the fetus inside. He’s the only one who can do it at the moment.

If only the baby is really true, we must’ve still had a little time to save it alive, though it’s just its placenta.

But the boss says then, “Tell her to leave for home and go to my clinic tomorrow.”

I gap. “But, Doc, could it be possible that she’s in miscarriage?”

But he SNAPS me. “What da hell are you thinking of?

You told me that she’s 44 and she’s lost her menstruation for a year! That means that she’s had menopause!

Where da hell is your head, don’t you think about it?!”

I must’ve woken him up from his sleep. He sounds really furious.

The patient doesn’t wanna go home. The tissue bleeding has worried her.

And I don’t want her to go home.

I still believe that she’s in miscarriage, and a miscarriage mustn’t go home.

And I want her to be investigated more. If it ain’t abortus, then what da hell is it? A cancer?

Finally I hospitalize her, coz she insists to stay. Then a midwife at the VK opens up her legs.

Then she phones my boss.

“Would you like to come over here, please, Sir?” she asks.

A few hours later, the midwife phones me. She says, “Yes, Doc, it’s true. A baby was there.

She was in miscarriage.” She confirms that my boss has confirmed that I was right from the start.

I hate it when I was right, and I hate it more when my boss yelled to me coz I was right.

He should’ve listened to me first.

I can’t believe that a woman has just already lost her baby and asks for a gynecologist but he just refuses her.

That was my basic instinct as a woman and a multibaby-mother’s heritant, and I listen to it.

And I never regret that I didn’t listen to my boss to send her home.

The baby probably has died, but I’ve rescued the mother’s heart. It’s saved!

Skanky, I said to a student passed me and gave me a pamphlet on a mall.

It was provocative enough, defied to stop the condom massal-giving just for the reason that condom has failed for preventing HIV.

Skanky, coz, since when the condoms were given free, here? Why did they never give me one?

Haven’t we been having to buy if we want one? (the import products cost US$ 1-2, but the cheap ones cost Rp 2-3.000,00 and only get three pieces, and they don’t taste strawberry). And isn’t this issue already out-of-date?

Coz we’ve always known that condom’s pores still like big holes than the supermini diameter of HIV.

But the final message of these stupid pamphlets were really ridiculous, stop giving us condoms! ?!

I should’ve forgiven them coz these students must’ve had just learnt biology.

Yeah, coz there’s never direct correlation between HIV’s incidence and condoms’ production.

According to these yesterday-students, HIV was booming coz too much free sex, which mostly definited as unmarried sex. Then these free sex became hit coz they’re facilitated by the lots of condoms.

So the solution was, throw away the condoms.

“These anti-condom pamphlets are really sheets-wasting.

How many trees did they must cut away to create these papers?

No wonder, global warming has boomed.”

Condoms are created coz their pores are still smaller than the diameter of the head of sperms.

So condoms prevent sperms from penetrating, and they guarantee the sperms to enter the vagina as a penis is doing invasion.

Imagine if there’s no condom, this world must’ve been fuly-crowded of the kids born just because their parents can’t hold on for sex. Forbiding the humans for sex? Just wait till the cock earn eggs.

Sex is happened more not coz a lot of people wear condoms.

Coz, the high-sexually-active people actually more often have sex without one.

With many kinda stupid reasons, such as no time for wearing it (just imagine, being erected so high, but they have to delay only for wearing a case?), itchy (well, coz condoms are made from rubber, so a few must have allergy, especially if they wear low-quality one), and it cost expensive enough (only wear once, and you must throw it away after).

No wonder that condoms in this country still less popular than injections, contraception pills, or IUD, that obviously cheaper.

And the worst is, free sex is accused as the main causa of HIV incidence. Wrong absolutely!

That’s OK if we talk about incidence in Papua, where the hookers still become sources of income.

But not in the other places, even at Java.

Coz HIV is transmitted more by unsterile needles, and only a little (not a few!) is sexually transmitted.

And these unsterile needles are easily found coz a lot of people injected a.k using drugs.

The most uncomplicated is, a lot of nurses and cleaning services in hospital have HIV coz they’re lazy to wear handscoon as they taking blood samples by spuits or get puncted by the spuits theirselves.

And which free sex mostly cause HIV? Definitely not unmarried sex.

Coz at my town, which they called religious but quietly caring after the whores, HIV  is actually more found in housewives. There are only a few whores have HIV, but more of them have syphilis or gonorrhea.

So how can we slay HIV? Just don’t inject unpurposedly.

Keep alert if you hold a needle, no matter if it’s a spuit or just a needle for sewing your button.

If necessary, keep the spuit that you usually use for injecting your insulin, lock it in your deposit box with your precious items.

Throwing away the condoms won’t solve the HIV, but it only causes a lotta new problems.

It’s not condom’s fault if a lot of your fellas have HIV.

Condoms just prevent your kids born at the unappropriate moments, preventing the global warming coz too much oxygen are inhaled by too much children, and prevent your Masters Happy, your balls, and your Miss Cheerfuls decaying of syphilis.

Don’t throw away your condoms! They probably the best friend you ever have, this moment!

Can’t hardly wait for the next December 20^th. That’s holiday, and I must do ward-shift for the ER.

Yippie!

Counting the visitors of the hospital at holiday, is same exactly like a mall vendor counting the visitors of his mall that day. Full-house!

Let’s calculating the omzet, and I’ll be home with lotz of money for stiletto-shopping!

But my Dad wasn’t really glad to hear me getting the wet project.

He said, “About the 20^th, they say Yvonne’s getting married.”

I was down.

Oh no, why da hell that cousin (ok, her name’s not Yvonne. But I can’t mention her real name here, coz this blog really offends her much), just getting married at the wet date?

Why not the 15^th, not the 27^th, or not the next month’s 3^rd?

Then I realize that Yvonne won’t switch her wedding just for giving me a chance to achieve a wet project. So it looks like I’m the one who’s supposed to give over. Bye bye, wet project.

Not my Jordan, I think.

Finally, I could nag to my colleague for replacing my project.

I’m sorry for her, that she should do the ward-shift at the ER at holiday.

However she wanna play with her sons at home.

Then I told my mom that I’m going to Yvonne’s party at the 20^th.

But my mom gets surprised and she says, “But she’s married at the 22^nd.”

What? Dad said the 20^th? Which one is right?

Mom said, “20^th is Idul Adha.

Does anybody get married at the day when people are cooking the lambs?”

Yes, a few people does, I replied. The Chinese does.

And the Muslims who don’t read Koran often, including Yvonne.

I don’t accuse Yvonne as a pagan here, but I don’t think Yvonne’s that belief.

But it’s not my problem that Yvonne will pray Id or not. Why da hell is she married at the 22^nd?

I’ve done a lot to switch my project from the 20^th so she can get married that day!

First thing first: your family, or your career?

Family is, isn’t it? Imagine, family is the last and the best barrier you can ever have.

Your career can go on top and fall like the windmolen of Holland Bakery,  but your family never lets you fall. Who’ll lend you her gold accessory when all of yours is out-of-date? Your family will.

Who’ll eat the rest of the donuts  on your plate when you’re fed up of pizza? Your family will.

And who’ll massage your back when you’re fatigue? Your family will.

And Yvonne, my family, my cousin, has just made me switch over my wet project.

My mom said, Yvonne hasn’t printed out her invitation.

Though the 20^th or the 22^nd is just about three weeks.

She must’ve thought that we have no other work beside waiting for her wedding invitation.

Damn, doesn’t she have any other job except driving her family suffered of confusion? 

God, please make me strong. Don’t let me pray for her worst.

Watch out, Vonne, if only you really cancel your wedding at 20^th and push me lose my wet project, I wish you’d have diarrhea..!

Well, my Dad has just reconfirmed after he phoned his brother.

The latest news, Yvonne’s married at the 21^st, afternoon. AARRGGHH!