Georgetterox

Repeated jokes. Physical harassment. Sexy chicks. Out-of-date scenes.

 

Those are the pictures about Srimulat. Srimulat used to be hilarious, but now they’re not. Srimulat has already sunk. They move their hour to weekend, even midnight. It means, Srimulat is in the same row with the underrated programs, the hours for those unsaleable programs.

Watching the roadshow of Extravaganza which overcrowded until the venue’s ready to topple the malls, make me sad because I know it’s gonna be hard for Srimulat to create the same crowd. Maybe Srimulat has a lot of fanatic devotees, including me, but I doubt that Srimulat’s full-house fans can topple the malls.

Most of Srimulat’s jokes are spoken in Javanese, or even if it’s spoken in Indonesian, they just can be understood by Javaneses. Those fans are also East-Javaneses, because Central-Javaneses rarely understand the jokes of the Easterns. So it’s natural if Srimulat’s fans are only East-Javaneses. It’s hard for them to net the fans from other ethnics in

Indonesia

.

Then, Srimulat counts too much on the physical appearances for their jokes. Gogon  with his bird-cage hair is kicked too much on the stage, and there are too many non-Srimulat chicks who are invited to be guest stars just because they’re hot but they can’t act. The problem is, our country’s audiences have already started to be intellect, and they realize that it’s out of date if somebody’s abused on the stage just because of miss-haircut. And our media begins to critical to those one-hit-number celebs who can’t perform any other fashions except tank-tops.

And they’re always snared in the same roles. Nunung  always becomes a maid. Djudju always become a prissy boss. Impressing as our life just ranges between the problems of riches and poors. If we think more, Tarzan almost never become a gardener. At least he becomes a maire. For the role, he should vie with Asmuni. And Tessy  always becomes a homo, though his tube top always falls down (Actually homosexuals in the real world don’t use tank-top all the time. Some of them work as soldiers. I know one of them.)

If it’s all not enough, Srimulat will keep falling down because it’s hard for them to regeneration. Almost all of Srimulat are already degenerated. It’s hard for them to show with younger celebs who are more qualified and not just sexy, because the jokes don’t fit in, even sometimes sarcastic because they abuse girls too much (especially Eko and Mamiek Prakosa ). It’s hard for the young audiences to appreciate, because the jokes are already out of date. Beside they’re more intellect, so it’ll be hard if the jokes that they hear is a little bit of less-knowledge.

It’s fair if this country’s audiences prefer the groups of the new generation such as Bagito, P-Project, Project Pop, even Extravaganza. Srimulat should learn much from them, begins from reading media (read: internet), hang out together, until jam. Without them, Srimulat will collapse under their next-of-kins (especially Extravaganza), and it’s just counting the times.

It’s not easy to keep funny, especially hangs on for years to be hilarious. It needs a creative team to create fresh jokes, fits for times, and not just counting on tit-and-ass or physical harassment. It also needs a casting team for netting the camera-face actors, not only those backwoods faces. If the “Villager” Aming can be unique in many styles, Gogon should be, too. It also needs a great management, to hunt the orders for show at the qualified places and the better images to perform. And they should stop speaking Javanese all the time, otherwise Papuaneses and Acehs will keep sentimental to Javaneses who has trouble in giving places for rural sons, even just in the comedy stages.

I’ve watched Srimulat since I was a kid, even since Gepeng, Pete, and Bagyo are still alive. As a real East-Javaneses, I want Srimulat keep survive, and keep funny, same as when I used to watch them while I was five years old..

They’re beautiful. They’re clever. They’re hot. And they’re doing great in kicking someone’s head. They also love cooking. Love shopping. Be annoyed when they are in their period. And get confused to deal with their sweethearts.

They’re 10 of my all-time favorite female heroes (ordered not according to quality scale):

SAILOR MARS

I’m sorry, Usagi, but my idol isn’t Sailor Moon, but Sailor Mars a.k Rei. Her typical weapon to cut her enemies’ necks isn’t a moon or water even thunder, but tarot card! Her voice is raucous and sexy, her hair is dark gleaming very ‘Asia’, and after roughing up those dandy bastards of Dark Kingdom, she still stands up sophisticatedly on her red high heels. But what I love from Rei is her ability to amaze Mamoru Chiba, so that the geeky Usagi Tsukino often gets jealous at this fashionable girl.

Sailor Mars and I have something in common: We both are fashionistas, we love shopping, and love cute boys.

DANA SCULLY

I’ve written before in In Love with An Expert of Dead People, that this unfriendly FBI agent is almost unable to laugh. During five seasons of X-Files, Scully had just smiled about five times. But Scully remains hot, proof by the alien who’s still intended to impregnant her. And Scully’s just interested in Fox “Frigid” Mulder. Scully is my main inspiration to be a doctor, when one of those days she operate and autopsize a person in a bath-tub of a cheap apartment which just already been inundated, only been gadgeted by kitchen knife.

Scully and I have something in common: We both love unloading somebody’s body, and are hardly satisfied.

BUFFY SUMMERS

Though her body’s thin like a board, but her power is such a Sumo. Buffy’s hold a black belt, and she often gets fussy to every vampire that she’s slaying, especially if the vampire defiles the environment of the cemetery where she usually patrols. And in anger she remains cool, until sometimes the vampire that she slays become amazed to watch her. Including Angel, a handsome 200-years-older vampire, but makes Buffy gets a crushed on and become a special exceptional to be unslayed.

Buffy and I have something in common: We both don’t understand why bad guys are always cute.

PRUDENCE HALLIWELL

Prue can move things only by snapping fingers, has a strong instinct in recognizing a devil in cover boy face, and remains pretty in sweat after fighting demons. And her carreer as a witch doesn’t really involve any wand or broomsticks. On the contrary, Prue always update her ability by making experiments with new maneuvers, such as using telepathy to create a chaos, and avoiding a demon’s curse by intimidating flying style ala Neo of Matrix.

Prue and I have something in common: We both love changing our hairstyles, but we’re never tempted to color it blonde.

DYLAN SANDERS, NATALIE COOK ALEX MUNDAY

Far before Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz, and Lucy Liu rampant the box office cause of success by being the Charlie’s angels, I’ve loved these ladies since watching the tv serial, so amazed until it’s hard to pick up my favorite one. But for the shake of the up-to-date taste, I still prefer the movie version.

Dylan is hot, though sometimes it’s hard for me to distinguish her from a blondie hooker.

Dylan and I have something in common: Our childhood both aren’t really happy.

Natalie rocks, loves disco, and memorize all encyclopedias.

Natalie and I have something in common: We both have a very big attractive smile.

Alex are so classy, love quarrel without matting her hair.

Alex and I have something in common: Sometimes our eyes both stare like bitchy.

PADME AMIGDALA

The Senator Naboo is classy in various costumes which heavier than her own weight, but she’s not afraid to die against those ugly clones. Too bad that she’s a little bit of pedophilia, because she loves hooking up with a childish Jedi who’s more proper to be his brother. My favorite scene is on Star Wars II, when Amigdala flew down from the top of amphitheatre’s pillar, and landed precisely on the pillion of a weird animal (which look like a combination of rhinoceros, horse, and tiger), and then she kissed Anakin Skywalker, and fought against those gargoyle aliens.

Amigdala and I have something in common: We love being involved in forbidden love, and it’s hard for us to leave our darlings.

ELECTRA

Electra does great in karate, mobile, and have entire of my ideal figure about a female hero: The long brunette hair that wave on the air. She proves that to fight against a criminal doesn’t need any masks nor secret identities such those Catwoman or Batgirl have. Otherwise roughing up people, Electra can perform in any styles, wrapping glamourous in nightdress or chic casual with tight jeans pants. What a pity that Electra has to die, make me not sympathize to Colin Farrell.

Electra and I have something in common: We both agree that Daredevil is sexier than Spiderman.

HERMIONE GRANGER

Hermione is a great witch, though she’s a totally unpure blood a.k real Muggle. She spells very well, arrogant and fussy, and also prissy. She can be a great asset for the Ministry of Magic or even Hogwarts, but her interest is only becoming activist to free the elves (good idea, perhaps she can fight for my country’s elves who become foreign labors). I love her most when she cheats her teachers, such as opposing in Professor Trelawney’s Divination class or dragging Professor Umbridge to Forbidden Forest. Too bad she’s just stucked on Ron, though Viktor Krum is cooler.

Hermione and I have something in common: We both haven’t got a crush on Harry Potter.

They’re smart, they’re brave, fight for what they want. But they still look good in their lingeries. And they totally rock.

They’re my heroes. Tell me, how about yours?

Sorry! Though my post Welcome, Playboy in this blog two months ago were opposed, both from the comments and the incoming e-mails, and almost all of them refused the Playboy published in my country, but I still support for Playboy Indonesia! I’m sorry last Friday the 1^st edition of Playboy just published 100 copies, coz I’m already missed. Don’t those editors know, I also wanna see Andhara Early’s cover in red!

And I just shake my head surrendernessly watching the anti-Playboy demo on tv. Those men yelled by burning Early’s cover on the streets. Those unemployments! Why didn’t they stay at home by having lunch made by their lovely wives with their dearest children? Those kids should prefer eating with their daddies, to watching their daddies wandering around the streets by burning the red magazines. And their wives need listening their husbands’ opinion about their culinaries. Or..maybe those men have too much wives, so they didn’t know that day, which wife’s turn to have lunch with.(?!)

Early’s reporting to the police absolutely overacting. How d’ya think about the situation of the interrogation right there?

Officer (clears his throat): So, Ma’am, you made picture for the magazine?

Early (sits down on her seat): Yeah.

Officer (reads his questions list): How did you make picture for the magazine, Ma’am?

Early (lifts her shoulder): Well, just picture it. Click, click, that’s it.

Officer (remembers when he still worked at the department of driving license before, nods): What was your position when you made the picture?

Early (tries to remind): Well, sometimes standing, sometimes sitting down. What’s the matter then?

Officer (swallows his spittle): Did you signalize the part of your body when you made picture?

Early (wrinkles): What d’ya mean about signalize? Is there any parts of our body which not signalizing?

Officer (gets confused): Er..I mean the sensual one.

Early (looks at the officer straightly by her eyelashes which were wiped by Fabulash): D’ya think which part of my body that sensual, Sir?

Officer: Er.. (gets ruddy, wipes his cold sweat) I mean..the sensual one, the..er..

This interrogation sounds ridiculous.

OK, I get it. This nation’s jumpy coz porns abundance everywhere, I know. The problem is, Playboy isn’t absolutely the 1^st adult magazine in the country. We’ve already got Maxim and FHM. Far before them, we’ve got cheap tabloids, which you can find easily at the quarter near the elementary schools where your nephews go to. And those men who criticized Playboy seem don’t know that. Or, they pretend that they don’t know. This demo is absolutely too late.

I say, if we wanna view it from the glasses of healthy and free-immorality mind, those pictures at the adult magazines aren’t porn. They’re just the creatures of photographers who know what art is. Liquidizing Playboy, same as like killing the aspiration of photographers and the writers of the mass media. If just aspirating will get chopped down, then what’s the difference between us and a muzzled nation?

But I do understand, the kids aren’t mature enough to understand what Playboy writes. They havn’t understood why Early is so sexy, does she really shows up her free-sellulites thigh or does she just speak up the honesty that snapped by the camera? So, the kids should delay first to read Playboy until they’re old enough.

Porn is not the only one thing that forbidden in our country. There are still more, such as some drinks, for example. We know that they keep the beers in a special locked racks in the supermarkets and we should show our ID card first before we buy them. Then why can’t we do the same thing to the Playboy? Just lock the adult magazines in the certain racks at the bookshops, and the merchants are just allowed to sell the magazines to over-seventeens. When the readers already have the magazines, then they pay responsible for keeping them in the wardrobe that the kids can’t reach. So, the kids can’t read porns, and the writers won’t get muzzled.

Let Playboy alive! We need to distinguish which one can fill up our culture, and we need to find out which ruins our mental.

THIS NATION STILL NEEDS ART. NOT PORN.

For some people, actually shower is such a big problem. Teaching a kid for shower sometimes needs several years for a parent, though it’s just teaching him how to “adapt to water”, not teaching him to “take a shower by his own”.

That time, my cousin Dash, was 5, and his momma still had trouble to shower him. Our city’s weather was so cold, and those years, water heater wasn’t common for housekeeping, so my uncle’s family had to take a shower with cold water every morning. Dash was always cold, so his momma had to pursue him each morning so he could take a shower. Finally Mrs Zee (I won’t call her Aunty Zee, coz today she’s already divorced from my uncle, so practically she’s not my aunt anymore), angled Dash by not showering him, but just wiping him. She just took him to the bath room, then she spattered the water on his body (yes, only spattering the water on, not raining him on with the water), lathered him, then she rinsed him back by spattered the water on. And, so Dash had “taken a shower”.

So many years I’ve been mocking my uncle’s wife and my cousin coz I don’t think the way that they used was hygienic. Now Dash is as old as me, he’s handsome like my other family, but I can’t guarantee that he doesn’t have Pityriasis versicolor a.k “panu”. But I absolutely never thought that someday I had to imitate her way to take a shower.

I was operated last week, and the surgeon left some scars on my body that had to have bandaged. These scars are temporary and they’ll disappear after several days, but during bandaged, the scars mustn’t get spattered by water.

Of course I’m confused, coz it’s just same like forbidding me to take a shower. My friends have been calling me Shizuka (ya know, Doraemon’s beautiful friend whose hobby is taking a shower), coz I can’t spend a day without shower, even in any conditions. We’ve been going for camping for a week in a mountain without public rest area, and those days, each day, I sneaked in quiet from the camping, knocked the local habitants’ doors for taking shower in their houses. And I did it twice a day. I have to take a shower twice a day, coz if it’s just once, I feel like having angioedema

 

These days, for a while, I gotta be careful if I wanna take a shower, coz the scar of the surgery on my body can’t touch water at all. I have to remind again how my ex-aunt Zee showered my cousin Dash, by just

spattering the water on the body. Only God knows how effective this way, but it’s still much better than not taking a shower at all. Thank Lord it’s just temporary, I hope my surgeon’ll allow me to open my bandage a few days again and the scar has recovered perfectly, so I can take a shower as usual. Shizuka has been desiring much to take a bath in her bath-tub.

For the first time, I appreciate my aunty Zee.